Frugal Fridays

I talked a little about budgeting last month. We have our ‘blow money’ per month per person. That covers clothing, random stuff, coffee, drinks, snacks, make up, anything that is not a need, it is a want … it is our want money!

I recommend setting up a set amount of blow money first. Try that out, give yourself a few weeks or a month. If you try to do a whole budget to start with, it gets crazy hard and stressful! Start with last weeks post: blow money.

After you get that down, you may be amazed at how much you used to spend! Or how much you are now saving! The next step I recommend in budgeting is your food budget. For the first month, go easy on yourself! If you are used to going to the store several times a week, getting whatever you want, not using coupons, you are probably spending a lot on food! Set an amount per month or per week. Our budget is $250 a month. Most people cannot believe what all I can get for that amount! When we first started our budget, our food budget was almost twice that amount.

I divide it out to $50 a week, with the extra $50 for Sam’s as that is where we typically get our ground turkey, chicken, goldfish and a few other items. The key is to be reasonable, if you have lots of money left over at the end of the month … great! But start off slow and keep it going! Once again, use cash! It is so easy to just pull out the plastic and not record all your purchases.

Try those two steps … next week you will want a pen and paper!

Little joys, little potty breaks and little prayers

If there is one thing I am learning, or trying to learn, it is to focus on the little things. Joanna is doing a good job as my teacher, it is amazing what I have learned from that little girl! I have always focused on the big things. The big tests or assignments, big goals, big events … the things the world focuses on. It’s the little things though that are so much fun, and things that I do not want to forget. I love the little blessings that God and Joanna send my way.

Joanna’s eyes light up with chocolate. I love how she will see a little kiss or a little M&M and say, ‘ohh!!! Chocolate milk!’ It is so cute, everything chocolate is chocolate milk. She is learning chocolate cake and chocolate candy, but it is so cute. I love how she gets so excited, she is her mommy’s girl!

We had an Easter egg hunt at the church the day before Easter and she was so funny. She would see an egg, gasp, then run over about five eggs to get to the one that she saw. She would shake the egg, checking for ‘tandy’ and run off for more. Her eyes will light up with each egg, each little treat.

Easter Sunday, she was so excited to wear her dress. She loves dresses, ‘ohh, pretty dress,’ is commonly heard on almost a daily basis. She is a little girl for sure! But after church, she was happy to get outside with Daddy to water the garden. She got her own little watering can in her Easter basket that day and did a great job watering, while also trying to get her head under Daddy’s hose. She was so cold and so wet, but had so much fun!

Potty training has also been an adventure. Joanna is a trooper. She is doing very well and on most days will have dry panties all day, sometimes one accident, with the exception of bedtime. I love how she will sit down, start to pee, and she has the cutest little surprised face that turns into a huge smile!

She had her birthday a week ago and it was so cute seeing her so excited. I made her a ‘Bob cake’. It was hard, it almost ended up in the trash can, but when it was done and she saw it, her little eyes lit up.

It is so encouraging to see her pray. We were at our neighbors house today and she just bowed her head, held her little hands and mumbled a cute little prayer when she saw our neighbor eating. So sweet, and such a good reminder.

It does not take much to see those big brown eyes smile. Goldfish, a sucker from ‘Pa(stor) Frank’, checking the mail, seeing her friends, walking into the toy store, going down the slide, bubbles, birdies at her bird feeder, thunder, rain puddles, any puppy dog, ‘popSICles’, ‘car carts’ at Krogers, painting, VeggieTale movies, singing ‘If your happy and you know it’, playing the piano, cleaning up her ‘puddles’ from the carpet, washing her hands, getting on my bed, getting up in the morning just to say ‘goo morring’!

Everyday there is something that she loves, and it is never a new car, money, or diamonds (although she thinks they are pretty!). I want to start looking at the birds, at the park, at the bubbles, and think how blessed I am. Not only to have so many fun things, but for a God who created them all, and created a fun little girl to enjoy them all with as well!

Frugal Fridays

There are tons of ways to save money, but there are always some that totally change things. Over a year ago, I would get upset with Brad when he would ‘waste’ money on coffee. And likewise, he would not be too happy with me when I came home with new shoes.

We fully believe in a budget, and I will talk more about that next week, but what Brad and I ended up doing was having ‘blow money’. We set an amount for us both for the month and got it in cash. That is very important, because if you spend a few dollars here and there, you will not be able to keep track as well as if you have that money in your wallet.

We gave ourselves $25 a month. At first it sounded like a lot, but after one week and we both did not have any money left, we learned fast that we needed to watch what we got and make sure that it was really what we wanted. $25 is a good amount, but that is only a few cups of coffee and if you are lucky, one pair of shoes with some change.

Each month is different now, sometimes we have it all month, others it is gone fast. But we do not argue about how we spend that money. It is blow money and is meant to be spent! We both know we will not spend more than that … and having cash helps with that as well! Secondly, it helps with budgeting. It is so much easier to know how much blow money we each have and factor that in per month.

Next post will be more about budgeting, but if this is an area you struggle with, give yourself a monthly or weekly amount of blow money … and stick with it! People do not often ‘loose’ $50 here and there … it is more often $1 at a time! Hold on to those dollars!

Lessons in Cleaning

Since becoming a stay at home mom, my status updates on Facebook typically have something to do with cleaning. A good friend of mine said that my house must be perfect because I am always cleaning! I have to confess, my house is rarely clean. I blame my toddler who is like a tornado, and also my goofy cleaning stages. I will get hooked on a snack for a week or so, and I also get hooked on different chores. So for a week the bathrooms and floors will look great, but do not venture into the kitchen!

When we lived up in Missouri, I had a chore list. I know that it sounds childish, but it really worked! It was not a list of what chores needed to be done, but when. It kept me in order, as well as the house, and made sure that I did not leave anything out. My list had not been updated since I first created it about a year ago. So after a discussion about chores last night with Brad, I decided to update it. Hope everyone finds it interesting and I hope it motivates you all to get your chores in order!

Chore List
Morning Chores: Make beds, sweep kitchen floor
Evening Chores: Wash dishes, clean kitchen counters, quick pick up
Monday: Wash clothes, grocery shopping, clean refrigerator, vacuum living room
Tuesday: Wash towels, wash sheets, clean bathrooms, mop kitchen floors
Wednesday: Dust, vacuum all rooms
Thursday: Clean bathrooms, clean showers, clean garage
Friday: Wash clothes, vacuum living room, mop kitchen floor, mop entry way, sweep porch, iron
Saturday: Clean bathrooms, mop bathroom floors, clean microwave, clean pantry
Sunday: Couponing, shopping list

Frugal Fridays

Maybe I will change the name of these posts to Money Mondays! This past weekend we had Brad’s parents in town, Joanna’s birthday was on Thursday and her party was on Saturday. So between birthday stuff and visitors, blogging was off of my radar!
I am teaching (or sharing) with my MOPS group tomorrow about the freezer. Your freezer can be a huge money saver! Most people do not realize what all you can freeze; you can freeze just about everything!

I did my weekly shopping this morning and saved lots of money by using my freezer! Kroger had a good deal on chicken breast. If you are like me and like most people, you use chicken on a weekly basis. Do not buy it weekly, as next week it may be a dollar or more per pound more than this week’s price. Today I bought two packages, split the packages up and placed some in the refrigerator. The rest I placed on a baking sheet in the freezer for a few hours. I will then take them out and place in a freezer Ziploc bag in the freezer. This way, I can pull out the exact amount I need the night before without have to thaw out a ball of chicken pieces!

Brad eats high fiber bread and it is very expensive compared to other breads. This week the bread was buy one, get one free! So I bought extra and placed loaves in the freezer. You can then thaw the whole bag of bread later on, or slice by slice. I have bought lots of things in bulk and divided it up to freeze. Sam’s big bags of cheese, meat, bread, clearance yogurt, fruit … lots of things! So next time there is a great sale or clearance, don’t just get what you will use that week, but get extra and freeze! It is wonderful having lots of food in the freezer and not having to pay full price for items!

Frugal Fridays

Almost on a weekly basis, I have someone ask me a money-saving question. People often come to me with coupon questions since I have taught four classes to this date. But coupons are not the only way to save money! It is one of my favorites for sure, but there are several other tactics out there. I am going to try to give a short and simple way to save money every Friday. So check back every Friday during nap time for a quick way to keep your money in your pocket!

We had a super sweet family over for dinner last night. One of the kids asked ‘what are these?’. Fabric napkins! If you want to save money … look at what you are throwing away! If you are in a family of four and use paper napkins three times a day, you are looking at literally throwing away at least $60 a year! That is cheap napkins with coupons! You can find fabric napkins everywhere or you can grab some fabric and make your own. I personally think they look nicer and work better!

With paper napkins also comes paper towels. Many people do not think that they can live without paper towels, but you can! If you only use two rolls of paper towels a week (and most people use more!) that adds up to over $100 a year as long as you buy the cheep towels! You can use actual towels for most things. Or make or get some wash cloths for messy hands and faces, cleaning cloths and dust rags. I have different ones for wash cloths and for cleaning. And for your windows or glass, just use newspapers!

You will love being able to go to the store and not buy paper napkins and paper towels! And another benefit … it will cut down on your trash as well!

Lessons From My Neighbors

A couple months ago, I got a knock on my door. It was a God knock … an unexpected knock full of many blessings. That very week, we had to change our insurance, making our income tighter. Finances, luckily, have never been an issue for us. God has always provided and taught us, but I also give the credit to my parents teaching me early about money and of course Dave Ramsey.

With a tighter income, that meant less money going into savings and it would take longer to get a bigger vehicle. My car (actually, Brad’s car now) is getting old and falling apart, plus we would like to add to our little family and my little car will not hold much more.

Behind that knock was my elderly neighbor. She needed a new worker to come and clean her house. She is in her late eighties along with her husband. Her husband, Herb, is not doing very well and is now on hospice. This flexible, part time job was perfect for my family. Did not have to drive anywhere, flexible hours and great pay for cleaning. I thought that this would be a simple job in which I could earn extra money for our ‘car fund’. The money has been a blessing, but it has not been the biggest.

When I am old, I want to be like them. Norma is so sweet, always talking about how ‘messy’ her house is and how much junk they have. Her house is always neat and their closets are half full … still have not found all this junk she has been talking about. I love watching her make her grocery list, figure out what she is going to cook for Herb and taking her to the store to shop. One of my favorite things is when she makes the beds. She always talks about how hard it is to make Herbs hospital bed, and it is hard! But she is so careful, the blankets have to be a particular length and no wrinkles at all. Herbs lungs are failing so he spends a lot of time in bed, taking multiple naps. She is so faithful, I have no idea how many times she makes that bed. I remember one day I helped make the bed. About ten minutes later, Herb was back in bed. I would have been so upset with Brad if he did that, but Norma did not even blink.

Herb struggles with every breath, but every breath, he is smiling and so grateful to God. He knows he is dying, and he is fine with it. He is so pleasant, always calls me ‘pretty girl’ and always wants to know how Joanna is doing. I love his smile and his routine. He eats the same cereal for breakfast every morning after thanking God for it first. He reads his paper, then goes into his office and reads the Bible on the computer. He does not stay awake for very long and is back in bed asleep. But I love how every morning before he gets out of bed, he thanks God in a quiet voice for the day.

A few days ago, I stomped over to their house. That morning, Brad and I had lots of things to do and all Brad seemed to talk about was going to the coffee shop. I basically got mad at Brad and told him that he a message to write that morning and two egg hunts to get in order and that all he was concerned about was coffee! 9:30am hit and I was next door. I walked in and Norma was upset with Herb. We were making the beds and she started talking about how Herb was complaining that he did not get enough food for breakfast. I told her about Brad wanting coffee, then we both looked at each other and just laughed. It was a good reminder that no matter how long Brad and I are married and how old we are, we will have those times when we disagree. It was such a little thing, we both realized how silly we were and then went back to our work.

I love going over to their house, it is a chance to learn. I hope I continue to learn to be a faithful and serving wife, even in the hard times. I hope that when I get to the point when I am old and dying, that I will still approach life with a grateful heart, always praising and learning about my Lord.

My Little Brown Thumb

My thumb is not really brown, at least not on a regular basis. I have tried the last two years to grow things. Had a few random plants, a small herb garden, neither made it. Some lived longer than I thought, but working a week at a time and then switching to part time work while being a ‘single parent’ with Brad still working at the children’s home, never helped my little plants. They all died.

When we moved last summer into our house, I really wanted to make a garden. Brad has told me the last two years that I have a brown thumb … that I kill everything that I touch! I am hoping to prove him wrong this year!

I actually started about a month ago. Got some books from the library and started planning out what I wanted to do. Planted a few seeds indoors in March, some did well once we planted them outside, others … not so well.

Brad and I made two raised beds. They are about four feet by eight feet, enough room to grow lots but I also do not have to step in them! We planted tomatoes, spinach, lettuce, onions, cucumbers and broccoli in one. The broccoli did not make it, so I have been trying to find a small broccoli plant but no luck. Thinking about putting in strawberries instead. The second one has tons of yellow squash and zucchini, I am planning on thinning them out in the next week! Also have peppers and green beans in there.

We will see what happens with the plants. They seem to be growing well, which we have had lovely weather. Hope it stays like this! I have enjoyed going out there every morning to check on them with Joanna. We worked in the front flower beds this week, trimmed bushes and planted some pretty flowers. I taught her how to pull weeds, so she enjoys helping, I just have to make sure that she pulls the right things!

Right now my thumb is brown … brown because of dirt. And I like it that way! I am hoping this summer it will turn a little green, so I can prove to Brad I can grow something and also to have tons of fresh veggies! But for now, I am enjoying the lovely weather, tending to the garden and just hearing Joanna play while listening to the birds.

Goals for April ... whatever happened to March?

Umm …. I am not sure what happened to March. I think I blinked and my eyes stayed closed longer that normal! It was a busy month and went by so fast, to the point that I did not blog at all and never posted my goals! Does not help that we had no iternet for a week! Between church things, a huge garage sale, Spring Break and a trip to Texas, not much got done in March!

As a mom, I have to realize that sometimes my goals are good, but the only thing that is going to get done that day is the basics. People cleaned up, clean clothes and food on the table. It may be something I pulled from the freezer for dinner and the clothes may come directly from the drier, but I am learning that sometimes that happens. Being a minister’s wife, I am learning that Brad is always ‘on call’ and hours are off, which means that mine are too. I want to continue to make sure my family is on the top of my priorities list, but sometimes the house will be messy and dinner is sandwiches.

I still need goals, or I really will not get much done! My spiritual goal is the same, I am still working on reading the Bible through. The Bible is not as small as it looks! I am still in the Old Testament, but I have enjoyed just sitting down at night and reading it. The Bible takes on another taste when I just sit and open it up like a book, not paying attention to the chapters, and just reading it. I have no idea how much I will read this month, but I am going to read at least a little each day, hopefully some days that will turn into a lot.

My family goal is two parts as I am ‘splitting’ up my family this month! With Joanna, my goal is to completely potty train her this month. She does so good, but she only does as good as her mommy does. If I focus on her and we are home most of the day, she does great. But with a trip to Texas last week and several full days at church, it has been hard. We are also struggling with her going potty outside of our house. It is going to take time, she is doing good with it, we just have to keep at it!

Brad and I have focused so much on church things that we need to refocus on each other. Brad is typically gone from 7:30am to after 5:00pm, but is at church Tuesday nights, Friday nights and of course Sundays. This April though, each Saturday there is something as well. It is just a busy time of the year and I have to make sure we spend time together. We are so bad about turning on the TV after Joanna goes to bed and just watch two hours or so of … not sure what. Random stuff, and we chat about the show, the commercials, but don’t spend time together. We have started turning the TV off at 9 and going to our room. It is early, but we have enjoyed spending time reading, talking, and praying together. It is a wonderful way to reconnect and just spend time together with no distractions.

My personal goal for this month is pretty predictable. It is spring … time for spring cleaning! Monday morning I am going to start and hit every inch of the house hard. Do not know what ‘method’ I will be using yet, but I will have some kind of list or plan. I am actually hoping to have everything done in two weeks as we have Brad’s family coming down for Joanna’s birthday.

Each day will be different, and each night I often ‘judge’ myself. How good of a spouse was I? Or a mom? Or a cook? Or a house maker? Or a minister’s wife? I never live up to my expectations, but I need to make sure I live up to Jesus’ expectations. And He expects me to love and obey. That is all. Pretty short to do list.

Scars and Burns

I have been sitting in bed for the last half hour. Not really doing much, checking mail, looking at Facebook, glancing at cute things on Pintrest … the normal three things I do at the end of the day. As I am looking around, I keep thinking of one word … Fear.

My mind keeps going back to church tonight, I was teaching the Survival Kit to the RAs and GAs. We were talking about things that we were learning, things God was teaching us. I told them that we often do not learn just by trust. How many times did our parents tell us not to touch something when it was hot? I love my parents, and I trust them, but how many times did I get burned touching things? Even though they told me, and even though I had touched the same things before?

I have felt like a little kid still touching the hot stove. I still have marks on my fingers from the last time I touched it … but I reach out to touch it again. And again. And again, it hurts, it burns, it leaves marks and they never go away over night.

My hot stove right now is fear. Just today, two things happened that caused fear to whisper in my ear. I listened to it … the fear of the unknown … the fear of what may happen … the loss of control … the emotions of dislike, distrust, worry … playing situations out in my head. Not thinking of what is really going on, but possibilities of the situation at hand.

I hear the whisper a lot. Reminders of the sin of the world. Hearing news reports of kidnapped children, prayer requests of sick church members, the needy asking for help in the WalMart parking lot …. I think about what if that happens to me when it should be lifting those people up in prayer.

There are at least 97 times in the Bible that God tells someone not to fear. Fear does nothing productive, fear disables us to do what God has called us to do. We serve the God who knows every hair on our heads, I know He never wakes up (for He never sleeps!) and thinks ‘oh, I forgot about her ..’

Why do I so often think that God forgets the little things, and also the big things? I then try to grab it and hold it tight. In reality, when I am holding onto something so tight, God cannot poor blessings in, and He also cannot hold those hard situations.

I know He is in control, but I feel as if my part is to worry, to dwell and focus on the situation. I pray ‘God this is yours’, I then lift up my hand … but all I am lifting up is a tightly closed fist.

February!

It is hard to believe, but February is tomorrow! I have enjoyed, for the most part, working on my goals this month. I really think that this is something that I am going to stick with, monthly goals. My life is always changing; we are always growing, doing different things, succeeding in different things and struggling with different things. A year is a long time, a month is more reasonable … weekly and daily as well!

I had three goals for January. My personal goal was to get curtains done and …. I did! I was able to finish the living room curtains in one night at our church’s ladies craft night. The kitchen and dining room were another story. There are four windows, meaning four curtains, and multiples are boring. I get tired of doing the same thing several times! I already had one of them started, and was able to slowly do the others. I was not so sure with how I wanted them to look, but got them done and hung last week!

My spiritual goal for the month that will also continue into this month was to read the whole Bible in two months. Not easy! I would have good days in which I would read a lot and others when I would only read a few verses. It took me until this past week to figure out what worked for me. I found I do the best at night, when Joanna crashes at 8pm and we just relax and watch TV. To get to the point, I am currently (although January is not done!) finishing up the book of Joshua. I know that does not sound like much, but that is ¼ of the Bible, and some of the hardest books! Leviticus was amazingly interesting and I got through it in two days, Exodus and Deuteronomy were another story. I am hoping that with a more set schedule with reading and the hard books behind, I will be able to finish it this month!

My last goal for this month was a family goal, and that was helping Brad with his 30 day weight loss program. We started the program a week late because he was out of town, so we are not done with it yet. But he has done a great job eating well and exercising as well! My main part of this goal was the food and menu planning. It was hard going from just figuring things out on a daily basis to planning out and measuring out not just dinner, but breakfast, lunch and two snacks. It was hard, and I had a few days I did not do a very good job, but we are working on it! This month I also got the chance to learn how to menu plan, so I now have a binder with five weeks of recipes and the shopping lists to go with them. This is the first week I am using my binder and so far, it is really helping! I am hoping I can keep menu planning this month without all the weekly work, because it is already done!

My family goal this month is similar to January’s goal. I am going to stick with the menu planning, but also to try a few new recipes, and to get all of my recipes put into my binder. I am much more likely to use a recipe if I can find it! I also am going to make a week’s worth of freezer meals for those crazy days, guests, and when we are just lacking time! I have a few recipes for freezer meals and I am looking for more as I want to do seven new freezer kits! We will see how it goes!

My spiritual goal for the month is to finish reading my Bible and my personal goal this month is to get organized! My house is clean most of the time, and things have a place, but not completely organized. Goals like this one though can cause problems as it is a huge goal! So I sat down a few days ago and listed every part of the house that needed to be organized. I then got a calendar and filled in each spot with a goal. Some days, like Sundays, I did not want to have a huge project … there is not enough time! I knew which days I could spend more time on organizing, so I put things like closets on those days. Packed days I put things like coupons, pantry, or a junk drawer in the slot. Below is my list of what I am planning on doing and when.

February
1st – Kitchen Cabinets
2nd – Pantry
3rd – Junk Drawer
4th – Guest Bathroom
5th – Stock Pile
6th – Garage
7th – Craft Closet
8th – Sewing Cabinets
9th – Computer Files
10th – Photos
11th – Joanna’s Closet
12th – Joanna’s Room
13th – Taxes/Budget
14th – Living Room
15th – Linen Closet
16th – Coat Closet
17th – File Cabinet
18th – Junk Basket
19th – Bookshelf/Bed
20th – Closet
21st – Bathroom
22nd – Freezer
23rd – Refrigerator
24th – Emergency Book
25th – Recipes
26th – Coupons
27th – Laundry Room
28th – Car
29th – Backyard

I hope as you read this you are also thinking of a goal or a project to do this month! Does not have to be big, or three, just find something that you want to work on. With Valentine’s Day being this month, find a way to bless your family and to show them that you love them!

Little Toes to Little Words

It seems like just yesterday we were bringing Joanna home from the hospital. She is not even two yet and I am already a believer in ‘they grow up so fast!’ Many of our friends and family are miles and states away, so I decided to do a post on a few of Joanna’s updates and fun talents.

Joanna is first and foremost, a talker. I think she is taking after her parents! She jabbers about non-stop now, and we can only understand about five percent, but she makes her points well with her gestures and crazy eyebrows. She loves to sing, and she kind of mumbles most of the words until she comes to the ones she knows. ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ comes out more like ‘inkle inkle eehhh STAR! Ahh, ehhhh, ahh, ehhh, ARE!’. It is so cute as she has her dramatic hands and dance steps to go with all of the songs!

Besides talking all day, and being my little shadow that walks around going ‘mama’, we spend a lot of time reading books. Not the little books with a few words, chapter books, and she can read for over an hour at a time! The Berenstain Bears are her favorites right now. She knows her books so well that she says some of the words right before I read them. Another favorite is ‘A Christmas Story’. She loves anything with baby Jesus, but this is a book that is recorded by Rebekah (my sister) and she loves hearing it as well as reading parts along with it!

Joanna still maintains her normal schedule, getting up between 7 and 7:30, taking a nap for an hour or two in the afternoon, and crashing around 8. I find it so cute that she knows when she wakes up from a nap that it is snack time. Once I pick her up, she always say ‘nack, nack?’. She has a little snack box of little bowls of fruit snacks, goldfish, animal crackers, dried cranberries and cuties (oranges). Picking a snack is always so much fun! She is an eater and will normally eat anything we give her. Sometimes she plays with new food, but once we get one bite in, she will gobble down the rest! Broccoli is about the only thing I cannot get her to eat … and I don’t blame her much!

Joanna is very independent as she can play in her room very well. She loves listening to her CD player, playing with puzzles or playing kitchen. She is also enjoying her baby dolls as she likes to turn off the lights and have them go night-night. Although it has been very cold, she likes going outside, going on walks and looking at the birds. Right now we just check the mail, but it is something she looks forward to!

Joanna is learning so fast! She has been doing well going potty this past week! She has gone almost every time I have taken her. We just bought some big girl panties, but this mommy is not so sure if she is ready for that adventure yet! We are also learning a few colors, green is her favorite, and can count up to four!

It is so neat seeing her learn new things, but she is also teaching me. This week she has really showed me how special little things are. I love when her eyes light up when we have ‘cu-cakes’ (cupcakes or muffins), a fire in the fire place, and when she looks at hers or my painted toes or the Valentine’s garland on the mantle and says ‘pretty’. Little things can make her day, and little things can make my day as well!

I love it when she comes running to give me a hug or a kiss, or she wants to ‘ra-rock’ in the rocking chair. Love her sweet nature, her cute smile … my little big kid!

Courageous

Brad and I just picked up our copy of the movie ‘Courageous’ this week. We pre-bought the movie after Thanksgiving and since I never got the chance to see it in theaters, I was really excited when it finally came out on DVD.

I made some yummy cinnamon-sugar popcorn and got comfy after putting Joanna down for the night. Brad had warned me several times with this movie that I would cry, and he is normally right. I even cry in movies you would not expect. (Not full-out crying, just ‘damp eyes’) I did cry, and for you all who have watched the movie, you probably are not surprised as you probably had some kleenex’s handy.

The movie really is wonderful, and I highly recommend the movie, but it hit me a little differently than the main message of the movie.

I was sad when the father lost his little nine-year-old daughter, and I could never imagine how life would be like if I lost Joanna, but it was another line that hit me. We only get to have our children for eighteen short years, and then they are gone.

Joanna is quickly approaching two and these two years when by so fast. I do not even want to think about how fast the other sixteen will go! But as a mom, and also somewhat of a perfectionist, I am always working on things, and out of the corner of my eye, Joanna is growing up.

Sure, I am a stay at home mom, but I often act like my job is stay at home housekeeper. Housekeeping is needed, and with a toddler, a never ending task. But this movie brought me back to my real job: Joanna.

I have lots of friends on facebook, friends at church, our MOPS group, and then acquaintances on different blogs and pintrest who seem to be doing it all. They are involved with different groups, getting up early to run every day, creating cute crafts all the time, they have the perfect house, with the perfect decorations and everything is so orderly. And not just clean and orderly, but clean, orderly and oh, so cute too.

When I see everything that other moms are doing, it just makes me feel like I am not doing enough. My closets should look better, I should be cleaning more, cooking more, crafting more, and volunteering more. Think keeping up with a toddler is hard, try keeping up with dozens of amazing moms!

But the movie showed me that it is Joanna that counts. She is not going to care is sixteen years about all the crafts, organized play dates, planned out holiday décor, cute meals and amazing closets. She is what will matter and what I (and Brad) have taught her along the way.

During the movie, I remembered several times in the last few weeks when I snapped at Joanna. I was not upset with her about big things very often (she is not perfect, but fairly obedient) but the little things. Playing in her milk, dumping her books out, taking off her socks and for getting into my things. Looking back, she was just playing, and more often than not, she wanted me to play, she wanted and needed my attention. I remember one day she stood in the kitchen and just cried. I was busy that day, cleaning and cooking, doing things I ‘had’ to do, and I just told her to stop. All she wanted was time with her mommy.

The dishes can wait, I can clean the house after she goes to bed, but I will not have Joanna for very long. I thank God for every day that He has given me with her, but I have not always treasured those days.

The father in the movie only had his daughter for nine years. I have no idea how long I will be blessed to have Joanna, but in that time, I want to treasure her. I want to read a few extra books, play with the messy play dough, and get extra hugs and kisses when I can because they are precious. The dishes can stand still, time will not.

I have lots to learn about being a mother, teaching Joanna and leading her, but I cannot do that if all I am doing is comparing myself to other moms. I cannot keep up with everyone, nor was I designed to. I was created to do the tasks God gave me and use the gifts He gave me. Each mom is different, and each mom does different things. I am different and I need to stop trying to be the same.

I pray God will give me wisdom to see what the important things are and what I need to focus on. I pray that every day I hold Joanna’s hand and we walk together down this path. Not me pushing her forward, or sitting her down beside me, but walking hand in hand, enjoying every big, and little, step along the way.

Reflections and Resolutions

There is just something about January and the beginning of a new year that makes me smile. Although I enjoy all of the Christmas decorations, there is just something special about vacuuming up pine needles, sipping hot chocolate in a clean house while writing down resolutions for the next year.

As I started thinking of goals for 2012, I was reminded this week of all the ups and downs of 2011. This time last year, I was finishing up a very long ten day shift at the children’s home in Mt Vernon, Missouri. It was a hard week, and I remember counting down the minutes until I would be able to go home and stay home. Brad and I were ready for the ability to simply work part time, but not being away from each other.

The next few months were very difficult. Having a young daughter, working part time and Brad being gone for a week at a time was hard. Brad had always been my partner; two weeks after we got married we were working side by side. God had taught us how to work together, and now we were going to learn to work apart.
Spring came, and spring was difficult. Brad’s mother came down with meningitis and was extremely sick. I remember after a month of her being so sick, Brad visiting her or working, leaving me and Joanna at home, and still no luck with a new job, wondering when things were going to change.

God is good … and He is perfect, which includes his timing! Brad’s mother is now fully healed and the month our lease was up, we were moving to a new state and a new job. We were able to purchase our first home and I am now able to stay home with Joanna. I am so thankful we waited, that we just did not say yes to the first church, but waited for the church that God called us to!

There were so many big things God did this last year, but one thing I will always remember is Christmas. It was such a blessing being able to see each and every member of my family this year. Spending time with my grandmother who battled cancer this year, meeting the two new members of the Wilds family, seeing relatives from California, playing games with all the Tyer clan …. Those are reflections I hope to always remember.

I would love to say that 2012 will be calm yet exciting, that we will once again be blessed with health, safety and provision, but God is the one that holds the pencil … I just get to see His writing, His plan, as He unfolds it.

With 2012, hot chocolate, a pencil and paper, also comes with goals. Thinking about last January, I know that I had goals … but I do not remember any of them. I am sure that one of them had something about reading the Bible, something with getting projects done and the house cleaned. This year I only have one goal: to blog weekly.

I am sure that is surprising, and also pathetic. But that is going to be my one and only goal for the year. I have never been good about long term goals, so this year I am sticking with monthly goals. Each month I will have a spiritual, personal and a family goal. I am hoping that only having three goals a month, I can focus on them more and that they can be smaller. If I achieved them in the first month, I can go onto something different or the next step, but can always focus on that goal for another month.

I also wanted to blog about my goals as a way to keep track and for accountability. It is so easy to set goals and never let anyone see them or know them … because if I fail, no one will know!

My spiritual goal for this month (and also next month) is to read the entire Bible in 60 days. I am just reading it cover to cover, like a wonderful book. I just have my bookmark marking my place, some days a read a lot, others not as much. But my goal is just to read it like the most amazing story that it is.

My personal goal this month is to finish all of the curtains in the house. I have curtains to finish in the living room, dining room and kitchen. I am looking forward to having a house that looks ‘completed’!

My family goal is to plan and prepare all meals and snacks this month. Brad is doing the 30 Day Biggest Looser challenge this month and it requires a lot of planning and precision. I want to help Brad meet this goal this month and also to start planning in advance what we are eating verses just opening the refrigerator and hoping something ‘speaks to me’.

I pray that this month that we all daily go to the Lord in prayer … thanking Him for all He has done in 2011 and asking Him to show up His plan for us in 2012. I am looking forward to seeing what He will do this New Year!